He's Too Young to be a Curmudgeon, Isn't He?

In my day, the presence of the word “educational” on a video game’s packaging was as ominous as “carob” in the ingredients of a candy bar. It almost always presaged some incredibly lame program called “Math Blaster!” or “Phonic Racer!” or “Super Rad Find Côte d’Ivoire on a Map Challenge!”, featuring the thinnest veneer of “game” lacquered over story problems, spelling bees, and demands that you use your Atari 2600 joystick to laboriously navigate a grid of letters and spell out the name of our 23rd president. Seeing as how my entire generation grew up to be morons, I guess the video game industry gave all that up as a lost battle, and are now sucking the joy out of video gaming with controllers that trick your child into exercising. Yes, what could make Halo 3 more engrossing than the need to constantly run on a treadmill to power it? Buy one for your child and he’s certain to get an invigorating workout, as he runs away from home as fast as possible to escape the parents who so clearly hate him.

The above is an excerpt from the proprietor of Defective Yeti, Matthew Baldwin. It's his "annual round-up of the stupidest items available for purchase on Teh Neterwebs," titled, this year, "2007 Holiday Christmas Survival Guide for Slackers Cultural Warriors." Go read the whole thing -- it's the best Christmas cheer I've seen lately.