Friday, April 15, 2011

Man, I hate suit-speak

Happened across a blog post from RSA (that computer security company that recently got hacked) that begins:

I was on a tour in Asia Pacific when I first heard the news about the attack. The investigation into this attack continues but I’m eager to share some information with you about it.


And of course it doesn't take too many more paragraphs before author Uri Rivner presents the inescapable "working hard." Y'ever notice how no one just works anymore? Let's just be honest and remove the space. These two words have become as inseparable as quarks.

We’re already WorkingHard on introducing several completely new approaches …

Fixt. (Probably should also have struck "completely," but at least it wasn't like the teevee, where new episodes are always AllNew.)

In his defense, Rivner does manage to resist telling us that he's passionate.


Don McArthur said...

Cranky, cranky. He can't be expected to instead post, "We suck at our alleged core competency. All of our synergies have dried up and blown away. Much like my so-called career."


bjkeefe said...

Good point. He deserves credit for not saying "synergy."

In all seriousness, I would have vastly preferred him to say, "The investigation into this attack continues. I'd like to share some information with you about it." Or, "The investigation into this attack continues. Here is a rundown of what we know at this point." Because I don't actually think this one successful intrusion means they suck at what they do. It means they're not perfect, that a mess got created, and they've got to clean it up and figure out how to prevent it from happening again. It's just another iteration of the age-old battle between the locksmiths and the lockpickers.