Monday, January 30, 2006

Recycling

So, I go to the local recycling center today, to dump the past couple weeks' worth of junk mail and buggy printouts.

I get out of the car, smile nicely to the poor woman whose job it is to stand next to the bins and make sure that no one tries to mix plutonium with waste paper. She smiles back.

"Nice day to be standing outdoors, isn't it?" I go all jocular, considering it's about six degrees above freezing and the fog is just nasty.

Forlorn smile.

I dump my paper and turn to go. She says, "Is that your car?"

I'm thinking I'm about to get complimented on the mighty Passat. "Sure is!"

"You don't have a sticker."

"A sticker?"

"You need a sticker."

"But I live in this town."

"You need a sticker."

So much for making eye contact and exchanging greetings. Had I just glowered at her, she probably would have busted someone else's ass. "OK, where do I buy one? And how much are they?"

It turns out that they are $10, and she had them right in her little apron, and she even stuck it on the windshield for me.

I make this poor woman's day a little more miserable by ranting for a bit about how it's stupid to add disincentives to recycling. I mean, why pay ten bucks and have to go to a place to do the drop off, when I could just dump everything in the trash for free? And, by the way, help fill the landfill even more quickly?

She resists the urge to pull a gun and backs away, nodding.

Then I notice that the book exchange shack is open for like the first time that I've ever seen in all my visits to this recycling center. "Hey, wait!" I bellow. "Can I just take books for free, or is that just a drop-off?"

Seizing her opportunity, she says, "Take all you want!" and then really breaks into getaway mode.

I scored six books that I really wanted to read, so I guess it wasn't all bad.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Read anything good, lately?

bjkeefe said...

Just finished Pain Management and Safe House, both by Andrew Vachss. If you like his style, those were good, although not his best.

I also just finished A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson, which was so good that I only permitted myself one chapter per sitting. I've been meaning to write at more length on this book, but the puppy has needed a lot of attention.

Anonymous said...

I know i'm posting a little late...But that's probably the funniest thing I have heard in a while (excluding my friend Ronnie spewing lemonade out of his nose today and spraying it all over a good five people!) But that's a pretty hailarious (s/p?)encounter...I almost feel sorry for the woman...but then I realize...I agree with Brendan here saying that "I could just help fill up the landfills faster!" So there you have it. Stop being wiseasses (sorry for cursing) about us putting stuff in your friggin' recycling...and where do they get off making us pay $10.00 for stickers...when I can get a nice plastic spongebob squarepants sticker for 75 cents. I'll be sure to throw it in a landfill.

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