This will only make you hate him more

In a surprise to absolutely no one with a pulse strong enough to get the blood above the neck, The Donald has announced he's not going to run for president after all. But, he says:

"I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election."

Silver lining, though: I think there's some inadvertent admission about how rich he actually isn't farther down:

In the end, however, his decision almost certainly had more to do with his lucrative NBC television contract for his "Apprentice" franchise than anything else. Trump was running out of time to decide whether he would sign on for another season of the "Celebrity Apprentice." Sources close to Trump said negotiations ran to the 11th hour with reports of Trump on hourly calls with NBC executives throughout the weekend who were trying to convince Trump to continue to helm the show.

Some news reports cited NBC offering Trump as much as $60 million to renew his contract, and sources said that NBC had told Trump that the network had lined up three years worth of sponsors for "The Apprentice" -- but only with Trump's participation in the show.

If you're a billionaire who wants to be President of the United States, you don't need "as much as" $60 million, much less spread out over the next three years. If you had a billion dollars, you'd only need to earn 2% interest on it to make "as much as" $60 million over three years.

So, he's lying about believing he could win or about how much money he has, or both. Release the long-form financial disclosure or STFU, Chump.

(h/t: Uncle Ebeneezer)