Sunday, January 25, 2009

No One Could Have Predicted

On Thursday, I passed along Righteous Bubba's notice that Michael Crook had announced he was going on a hunger strike until Barack Obama resigned, "because a country with a colored president simply isn’t worth living in."

At this point, I will only consume minimal liquids, until one of two things happens: either he does the right thing and resigns, or I die of hunger.

No, I am not whistling Dixie, and no I am not fibbing. I will post video journals as this progresses to either his resignation or my death.

Apparently, I am the only right-thinking White brother who has the balls to put his life on the line for his race. Pity, that.

Shame that it took Michael freaking Crook to stand up and do what’s right. What’s right for the White race, and what’s right for America, although the former is much more important.

And blah, blah, blah.

ArtSparker made what seemed like the right call in the Comments here:

I think there's something children do to scare their parents, holding their breath until their faces turn blue...

To pick up the story, let's go back to the source.

Update one (Friday evening):

It’s been almost three days….I’m dizzy, tired, and feel as if I could eat a horse, but this is a sacrifice I am happily making for my race.

You must resign, Barack Hussein Obama.

Update two (Saturday morning):

Just like yesterday, I remain on hunger strike, as I have since a little after 9pm local time on Tuesday.

I remain dizzy, and headaches, blurred vision, and extreme fatigue are the orders of the day. Yet, I am cheered by the fact that I am making the ultimate sacrifice for my race.

Update three (Saturday, a few minutes after noon):

Sometimes you have to make choices. With the purchase of an extra value meal at around 11 this morning, I ended my hunger strike, which lasted three days. Might I say that a Big Extra value meal at McDonald’s never tasted so good.

I think Matt Dinniman's artwork sums it up best:

Michael Crook, huffer not-so-extraordinaireMichael Crook: I'll huff and I'll puff ...


Looks like ArtSparker got everything right except the color.

10 comments:

Righteous Bubba said...

Oh god that's just a shit effort on his part. Lord. Couldn't he just pretend more? Is he really that sincere? Is he just hoping for abuse? A mysterious individual, but it's nice to know that whatever contempt you show certain people they will twist and turn to find a way to justify it.

Peter said...

HAHAHAHHAHAHAA Pathetic piece of shite.

I've fasted longer than that just for fucking kicks. That loser deserves hyper ridicule. Really, really deserves it.

Brendan said...

I think you're both right: he's pathetic and he deserves ridicule. On the other hand, I've looked at his latest output, and I've come to the conclusion that what we most likely have here is a lifelong cowardly misanthrope who's just smart enough to have had the thought, "Hey, look at all that money and attention Ann Coulter gets for saying obnoxious things! I can embrace my full dickitude and get paid!" Most of what he's written since the Big Hunger Strike are dim-bulb racist rants, insulting blacks and Jews with all the originality of a bottom-feeding Klansman wannabe.

It's also possible he's truly twisted enough to crave abuse. This post, written about someone else, seems unintentionally revealing:

Obviously, he had full knowledge of what he was doing, and like most instigators, he became enraged when he didn’t get his way, and this is his way of reacting, rather than realizing and accepting that it was his own conduct that almost literally resulted in an ass kicking.

Just like cowards, he and ... his female friend ran off, fearing for their lives. This is how the arrogance of those who instigate things with malicious conduct such as this jerk exhibited presents itself.

It seems to me that what he would hate most is no attention, so that's just what I'm going to give him from now on.

Interrobang said...

Ha ha ha! I called it, days ago when I first made the mistake of clicking on a link at S,N! to that shitegob's page. My browser sulked at me and told me it needed a shower, so I apologised and then let it use my satsuma bodywash and now we're back on good terms again, thank goodness...

Interrobang said...

Come to think of it, does anyone else find it really hilarious that the first thing he chose to eat after coming off a fast was fast food?!

*clap clap clap* Way to go, dude. Well done. I wonder if the part we didn't get to hear about (because he didn't blog it out of sheer embarrassment) was the part where, a couple hours later after scarfing down that mess, he puked it right back up again. After all, aren't you supposed to break long fasts with small portions of easy-to-digest foods? (Also, complete and total NUTRISHUN FAIL. No wonder he can't think coherently; he's probably so malnourished his brain went to Hawaii years ago, fell in love with a half-black, half-Japanese surfer chick, and never came back. That would explain the racism, too.)

tigris said...

Resignation or death! The only man with the balls to make the ULTIMATE sacrifice for his race! No one else is willing or able to withstand Big Mac attack DTs for almost THREE WHOLE DAYS! Awesome.

ArtSparker said...

The choice of meal certainly seems in keeping with the less than mature reasoning involved in the project. Thanks for the shout out.

t4toby said...

That is the lamest hunger strike in the history of all lame hunger strikes.

What a maroon.

Specialist G. said...

I know it's been said before but...

Best. Election. EVAR.

SFAW said...

I dunno - I think it's a parody site (albeit not a very good one).

Reading some of the other stuff ("Mike's Rules", his FAQs), it strikes me as an attempt to look like a total whack-job, rather than a serious statement of principles or whatever.

I figure if he really meant what he's written, he'd have pissed off the wrong guy by now, and ended up dead.

Of course, if I'm wrong, then he's perhaps the Greatest Example Evah that Darwin was wrong. That natural selection shit is a motherfucker.

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