In any case, is it untoward to ask what in the name of Mikhail Kalashnikov Evan Longoria is doing with an AK-47? Hunting? What, is he going out in search of the elusive Armored Personnel Carrier? Self-defense? Who's going to mug him? The Republican Guard? Time was that there was a lot of earnest beard-pulling about how ambivalent we should be about our athletes's going out at night while strapped. Every time an NBA player exercises his Second Amendment rights into the air, while exercising his First Amendment rights of free association outside a strip club, it's a perilous moment for our culture. But one of the signature players in baseball has lodged in his place enough firepower to hold off the Zombie Army, and everyone takes an even strain? Oh, and one correction to the deputy's report -- Longoria's AK is no longer "perfectly legal." It is now an illegal weapon, and it is in the hands of a criminal.