STFUpChuck

Oh, hey, look. That sad little old man with the bad dye job is yelling into his typewriter about the liberals brainwashing your children in their liberal public schools. Again.

Stuef is correct to mock Chuck Norris's "real news headlines" claim.

I Googled the first: it led to FreeRepublic, which led to Townhall. I Googled the second. It led to WorldNetDaily. I Googled the third. Okay, looks like this one wasn't just a wingnut wankfest, not that this headline seems particularly controversial. (Kids ask for information! And free stuff! The horror!) I Googled the fourth. WorldNetDaily again. The fifth: FoxNews. The sixth: ditto. The seventh? Looks maybe okay -- Yahoo -- but clicking the link shows it's from the "Yahoo contributor network," which may earn bonus points for truth in advertising, one concedes. In this case, the networker is someone named Sheryl Young. You make the call.

The eighth. Back to WorldNetDaily. Ditto the ninth. Ditto the tenth. Ditto the eleventh, if you click through -- just an aggregator. Or aggravator. Hard to say. We'll give him an okay on the twelfth -- though using a "Some say" story from the MSM is not what one would ordinarily call conclusive of anything, if one viewed the claimant as reasonably in possession of mental faculties.

In conclusion: Fact: Chuck Norris bats 2 for 12, if we score generously. Mendoza could kick his ass.

Fact: Chuck Norris is too much of a wussy to provide his own links.

Also.

(h/t: pic. source)